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Casino jokes and puns that’ll knock your socks off!

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Start your day with the best online casino jokes and puns, guaranteed to tickle your funny bone.

Playing online casino games comes with a range of emotions determined by the win-or-lose outcome.

If the odds aren’t quite in your favour and you find yourself in need of a pick-me-up, there’s nothing quite like a quick casino joke to brighten your day.

Here is a compilation of all the best casino jokes and puns guaranteed to make you chuckle. CasinoWow turns into Casino LOL!

Get ready to giggle at these top casino jokes

What did the rabbit say to the lion at the roulette table?
- I’m glad you’re not a Cheetah!

My girlfriend says she’ll leave me because I’m developing a gambling problem.
- I bet you she’s bluffing!

My uncle lost to gambling, so I asked him if his wife left him.
- He replied: ‘I’m not that lucky’.

What’s the difference between a land-based and an online casino?
- Nobody laughs at you when you lose online.

People say gambling ruins lives, but it brought me and my family closer.
- We now live in a one-bedroom unit.

I asked the Genie to make me irresistible.
- He turned me into a winning slot machine.

What did the dealer say to the deck of cards?
- I can’t deal with you anymore.

I wish Covid-19 started in Vegas because what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

What is the best way to keep your husband from gambling?
- Spend the money first.

They say 1 out of every 7 friends has a gambling addiction. My money is on Dave.

What is the poker dealer’s favourite song?
- Every day I’m shuffling.

My wife challenged me to a game of strip poker, but then I realised she just wanted to do the laundry. So, I folded.

Why can’t pirates play cards?
- Because they’re standing on the deck!

What does a blackjack player eat for dinner?
- Whatever his comp card allows him to.

How do you get a professional poker player off your front porch?
- Pay him for the pizza.

Sign you might have a poker addiction: Your children are named Check and Raise.

Marriage is like a deck of cards: All you need at first is two hearts and a diamond; but in the end, you wish you had a club and spade!

A man goes to a casino and sees a sign that says, “If you have a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER.” He thinks about it for a moment and then dials the number. When someone picks up, he says, “I have an ace and a six. The dealer has a seven. What should I do?

Russian roulette may be the easiest game on Earth. Not a single person alive has ever lost at it.

I did well at strip poker the other night. I played my socks off.

Laugh out loud with 10 of the best casino puns

1. I’m going to an Abba-themed poker night. The winner takes it all.

2. A midget chef had to quit his job at a casino; he said the steaks were too high.

3. What would you call an iguana that runs a casino? The Lizard of Odds.

4. I’m an accountant for Hallmark. They throw me out of casinos because I’m a “professional card counter”.

5. Did you hear they arrested a T-Rex after he was hired at the casino? He turned out to be a small arms dealer.

6. Why aren’t there any casinos in Africa? Because there are too many cheetahs.

7. I make a bet with a local farmer each year as to which lamb will jump the highest. I like a gambol.

8. How do you become a millionaire through gambling? Start as a billionaire.

9. I’ve always wondered… Does a glassmaker with a gambling addiction suffer from win-dough pain?

10. China’s currency could depreciate soon. Yuan a bet?

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Not only do you get to stay up to date with the latest events, game releases, and promotions, but you’ll also get to enjoy a weekly giggle with our Friday funnies.

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