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Casino jokes and puns that’ll knock your socks off!

  • author icon by Stelly in Fun Wow
  • calendar icon December 7, 2022 | Last updated: August 22, 2024
  • calendar icon 5 min read
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Start your day with the best online casino jokes and puns, guaranteed to tickle your funny bone.


Playing online casino games comes with a range of emotions determined by the win-or-lose outcome.

If the odds aren’t quite in your favour and you find yourself in need of a pick-me-up, there’s nothing quite like a quick casino joke to brighten your day.

Here is a compilation of all the best casino jokes and puns guaranteed to make you chuckle. CasinoWow turns into Casino LOL!

Get ready to giggle at these top casino jokes

What did the rabbit say to the lion at the roulette table?
- I’m glad you’re not a Cheetah!

My girlfriend says she’ll leave me because I’m developing a gambling problem.
- I bet you she’s bluffing!

My uncle lost to gambling, so I asked him if his wife left him.
- He replied: ‘I’m not that lucky’.

What’s the difference between a land-based and an online casino?
- Nobody laughs at you when you lose online.

People say gambling ruins lives, but it brought me and my family closer.
- We now live in a one-bedroom unit.

I asked the Genie to make me irresistible.
- He turned me into a winning slot machine.

What did the dealer say to the deck of cards?
- I can’t deal with you anymore.

I wish Covid-19 started in Vegas because what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

What is the best way to keep your husband from gambling?
- Spend the money first.

They say 1 out of every 7 friends has a gambling addiction. My money is on Dave.

What is the poker dealer’s favourite song?
- Every day I’m shuffling.

My wife challenged me to a game of strip poker, but then I realised she just wanted to do the laundry. So, I folded.

What a Joke! Good One!

Why can’t pirates play cards?
- Because they’re standing on the deck!

What does a blackjack player eat for dinner?
- Whatever his comp card allows him to.

How do you get a professional poker player off your front porch?
- Pay him for the pizza.

Sign you might have a poker addiction: Your children are named Check and Raise.

Marriage is like a deck of cards: All you need at first is two hearts and a diamond; but in the end, you wish you had a club and spade!

CasinoWow Joke

Russian roulette may be the easiest game on Earth. Not a single person alive has ever lost at it.

I did well at strip poker the other night. I played my socks off.

What company never loses at blackjack, you ask? Forever 21.

Ever heard about the sarcastic gambler?
- Yeah, he was a real eye-roller!

I once visited a bookmaker in the Himalayas.
- Tibet?
- Why else would I go?

A gambler walks into the butcher shop and says to the assistant behind the counter, “I bet you $100 you can’t get that meat down from the top shelf without a ladder.”

The assistant looks up, turns to the gambler, and replies: “I’m afraid I can’t take that bet, sir. The steaks are too high.”

Gambling is really like eating pistachios.
If you get a good pistachio, you want another good one.
If you get a bad one, you want a good one even more.
And that is gambling for you, in a nutshell.

Do you know what would make gambling hotlines better?
- Make every 5th call a winner.

What did the gambling addicts name their daughter?
- Betty.

Gambling has really helped me get back on my feet.
Because I lost my car in poker last night.

I gambled on a giraffe race the other day.
Mine came second.
Lost by a neck.
It was nowhere near.

What's the difference between a casino and a church?
- You actually mean it when you pray at a casino.

Just Kidding!

Laugh out loud with some of the best casino puns

1. I’m going to an Abba-themed poker night. The winner takes it all.

2. A midget chef had to quit his job at a casino; he said the steaks were too high.

3. What would you call an iguana that runs a casino? The Lizard of Odds.

4. I’m an accountant for Hallmark. They throw me out of casinos because I’m a “professional card counter”.

5. Did you hear they arrested a T-Rex after he was hired at the casino? He turned out to be a small arms dealer.

6. Why aren’t there any casinos in Africa? Because there are too many cheetahs.

7. I make a bet with a local farmer each year as to which lamb will jump the highest. I like a gambol.

8. How do you become a millionaire through gambling? Start as a billionaire.

9. I’ve always wondered… Does a glassmaker with a gambling addiction suffer from win-dough pain?

10. China’s currency could depreciate soon. Yuan a bet?

CasinoWow Joke

12. The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

13. What’s a pirate’s favourite casino game? Arrrrrr-oulette!

14. I tried to start a professional gambling career, but I just couldn’t play my cards right!

15. Why are craps players great at parties? They really know how to let the good times roll!

16. What does a gambling addict call heaven? Pair-a-dice.

Follow us for more!

If you enjoyed this list of the best casino jokes and funny puns, then we recommend hitting the follow button on the CasinoWow Instagram account.

Not only do you get to stay up to date with the latest events, game releases, and promotions, but you’ll also get to enjoy a weekly giggle with our Friday funnies.

Last updated: August 22, 2024

Anything incorrect or missing?

Stelly avatar image

Article by Stelly

CasinoWow Contributor

Hey there! I am Stelly, and happily, I'm part of CasinoWow's content team. It excites me to be able to write and share with all gambling enthusiasts unbiased reviews and news that contribute to the gambling community and industry. Thankfully, I also have the chance to help you make an informed choice for casino brands and games, as well as provide interesting guides and news.

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